Yes, some men name their daughters after exes and mistresses

There’s the baby name drama (“my college roommate stole my favorite boy’s name!”) and then there’s the Adam Levine baby name drama.

Earlier this week, Instagram model Sumner Stroh claimed that she not only had an affair with Maroon 5’s Adam Levine, but a few months later he texted her out of the blue with a request to normal fact: My wife is pregnant! Do you mind if I name the baby your name?

His alleged text was only a little less succinct: “Ok serious question. I’m having another baby and if it’s [a] boy, I really want to call him Sumner. Are you okay with that? DEATH seriously,” Levine wrote to Stroh, according to his screenshots. (The singer’s wife, Victoria’s Secret model Behati Prinsloo, is currently pregnant with their third child. On Tuesday, Levine admitted vague “inappropriate behavior.”)

If there’s any truth to that, we’re DEAD seriously surprised by the singer’s name selection process. Who would name his child after a woman he had fun with in any capacity while his wife was pregnant?

Apparently a lot of people! Following Levine’s story, many women tweeted saying they too were named after their daddy’s exes“the other woman” or old favorites. (To be fair, we’re sure women do too, but the anecdotes don’t seem to be on the same scale. “named after my father’s ex” on Twitter to be really depressed.)

Dana Omari, an Instagram beauty influencer who helped “break” Levine’s story, received messages from women who said they had similar original names. (The stories, which Omari still receives days later, are cataloged in a highlight folder on his Instagram titled “men naming babies.”)

“My mother and her sister were named after my grandfather’s mistresses,” one woman told Omari.

“I am named after a mail lady my grandfather thought was so beautiful. [I’m] literally named after my grandfather’s budding mistress,” another wrote.

The subject has even been featured in Slate’s “Dear Prudence” columns and an excerpt from “30 Rock”: Suspecting a pregnancy, Liz Lemon’s doofus boyfriend, Dennis Duff, tells her, “If it’s a girl , I used to puff this chick named Judy, and I’d like to honor her.

Most of the women we spoke to said their fathers did it on the sly: “You have my ex’s name, but your mom doesn’t know it.

For example, Susanne was born two months early and her mother was too exhausted to complete her birth certificate papers after she gave birth. His father did the honors.

“For the first six weeks of my life, I was Jennifer ― until the papers came and it wasn’t my name after all. He named me after his ex-girlfriend,” said Susanne. (She, like others in this story, asked to use her first name only to protect his father to suffer major scorn on the internet the privacy of his family.)

“It’s pretty hard to understand that they were married for another 25 years,” she laughed.

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Russell Monk via Getty Images

“You named me what?

Muliya is named after her father’s first love. The relationship with the original Muliya ended because Muliya’s overbearing mother did not want to stay out of the young couple’s affairs. It wasn’t the end of Muliya, however – at least the name.

“When I was born, my mother had no idea that my father had registered my name as ‘Muliya.’ Of course, she was so furious that she gave me a different nickname, forbade anyone in the house to call me by my real name, and still never called me by my ‘real’ name,” he said. said Muliya the second.

Margaux Samuel’s story is a bit different. After his parents divorced, his mother remarried, but his father struggled to move on, insisting that Samuels’ mother was his one true love, regardless of the divorce.

Eventually, Samuels’ father began dating another woman, who became pregnant.

“He wanted to give their first child my mom’s middle name, and apparently she went crazy,” Samuels told HuffPost. “They broke up and after a whole bunch of fighting they got back together.”

Naturally, before reconciling, they agreed to change the baby’s name. Unfortunately, Samuel’s father had other names up his sleeve.

“He ended up changing the baby’s name to the one he originally wanted to give his first daughter with my mom,” Samuels said.

To this day, Samuels does not know if his stepsister or his stepsister’s mother knows about the gnarled origin story of the soap opera of his name. (Samuel’s father and wife eventually married and had more children: “Their wedding date was my mother’s birthday.” Yeah.)

“No matter how pretty the name is, I don’t think you should use an ex for a baby, period.”

– Pamela Redmond, CEO of Nameberry Baptism Site

In other cases, it’s not an ex, but a distant crush who gets the tribute on behalf of the baby. Ellen told HuffPost that her brother named his daughter after a girl he had a crush on in high school.

“I’m just not going to blow up his teenage daughter with the extremely specific name, so I won’t say the name, but my brother had an incredibly obvious, scary, sort of mouth blast ‘wow-maybe-don’t -hug-his-so-long-guy’ crush on that girl at school of the same name,” Ellen explained.

Needless to say, the girl wasn’t the least bit interested. Eventually, Ellen’s brother left town and had a baby with another woman. They named the baby, a girl, the name of her former crush, unbeknownst to the baby’s mother.

“I returned to our hometown around the same time, and everyone who found out about the name had the exact same reaction as me: shock,” Ellen said. “Luckily, I never met the girl in question, because it would have been so awkward.”

Select Stock via Getty Images

For the most part, it’s probably best to exclude exes from lists of possible baby names, said Pamela Redmond, CEO of baby naming site Nameberry. “People rule out names associated with a creepy fourth-grade kid or an unattractive literary character, so why not an ex?”

Stories like these are precisely why Pamela Redmond, CEO of baby name site Nameberry, thinks it’s a good idea for parents-to-be to compile a list of strictly forbidden names.

“People rule out names associated with a creepy fourth-grade kid or an unattractive literary character, so why not an ex?” said Redmond.

Still, let’s play devil’s/Levine’s advocate here: what if it was just a pretty name you’ve always wanted to use, with no specific desire or loyalty to your ex?

“No matter how pretty the name is, I don’t think you should use an ex for a baby, period,” Redmond said. “You may not have residual feelings, but the name should still have strong associations that are very different for both parents and may cause future conflict.”

Baby naming consultant Taylor A. Humphrey’s take on this “trend” (for lack of a better word) is that it’s usually women who are the innovators when it comes to naming in the relationship. Men don’t think so much about the meaning of a name.

“In my business, I’ve noticed that women tend to be more into the realm of the possible when it comes to names,” she told HuffPost.

“As connected and communal creatures, women have friends, sisters and cousins ​​who are going to have babies, and are more likely to take note of those children’s names, giving them vast reserves of creativity. when it comes to naming their own children,” she added. Explain.

Men, on the other hand, tend to consider what they’ve heard before: who they interacted with, what they felt comfortable with.

“That’s why they’re more likely to recommend an ex’s name if they had a positive association with that person,” Humphrey said. “It’s a way of transferring their positive memories of a person to their offspring.”

Humphrey has personal experience to support his theory.

“When my parents were pregnant with me, my dad recommended the name ‘Chloe’ because it was the intoxicating scent his sweetheart had worn in high school,” she said. “While my mum finally shut this down, she knew her suggestion came from an innocuous place.”

This sort of thing happens so often, there are even some surprisingly sweet “I’m named after my dad’s ex” anecdotes.

Wendy del Real is named after her father’s ex, Wendy. Her mother found out after coming across several love letters between Wendy’s father and a woman from her past named Wendy.

“She had them transcribed into Spanish and that’s how she found out I had another woman’s name,” del Real, who previously posted a TikTok about the drama, told HuffPost in an email. -mail. (Like Twitter, many of the women on TikTok had shared their “I’m named after my dad’s ex” name origins long before Levine’s story broke.)

As the recipient of the name, del Real had his own questions. When she asked her dad why he chose “Wendy,” he shared a surprisingly heartwarming story.

“Before my father’s relationship with my mother, he had been involved in heavy drug use and had a difficult life during his first days working in the United States,” said del Real, who lives in San Diego. “The Wendy he dated helped him through those issues, and he says he’s always thanked her for changing his life.”

“That’s why I always liked my name,” del Real said. “I feel like if it wasn’t for her, I probably wouldn’t have my dad.”

A sweet story, but let’s face it, the majority of these stories aren’t exactly heart-warming. No doubt you came here to read “what’s wrong with this man?” stories, and Humphrey, the aforementioned baby name consultant, provided the goods.

In light of the Levine scandal, Humphrey asked her Instagram followers if they’ve ever had an ex who named their baby after them.

Naming consultant Taylor Humphrey asked her social media followers if they've ever had an ex to name their baby after them and got some surprising answers, including this doozy.
Naming consultant Taylor Humphrey asked her social media followers if they’ve ever had an ex to name their baby after them and got some surprising answers, including this doozy.

“This guy I was dating in college surprised me by getting my name tattooed on his thigh,” the woman wrote. “When we broke up, he tried to make me feel bad by saying, ‘What am I going to tell people about your name about me?’ I told him to tell them it was his deceased grandmother.

“Well, fast forward almost five years and he messaged me that his now pregnant wife said if they had a girl they could name her after her ‘deceased grandmother’. “

Oh, what a tangled web you weave, when all you have to do is buy a book of baby names and read it.


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