A woman has been praised for kicking her fiancé’s best friend to their wedding after he made an offensive joke about her past as a sex worker.
In a viral Reddit post shared on the Am I The A**hole forum, which can be seen here, user Throwra31133434 explained that she used to be a sex worker, but said her partner of 33 years knew and “don’t judge me for this at all.”
But she added that her friends would tend to “make backhanded remarks” about her past and that they considered it “good sport”.
Zoe Burke, wedding expert and editor at Hitched.co.uk, said Newsweek that “sex work is work” and that the friend’s attitude towards her “is rooted in misogyny and toxic masculinity”.
“The bride has every right to worry about the antagonist not only being invited to the wedding, but also taking an active role on the big day, because who knows what he might say on the day to upset her. , her or her friends and family with her ‘jokes,'” Burke added.
The Reddit user revealed that the issue came to a head during a dinner party that her fiancé’s friend attended.
“Last night my fiancé took me out to dinner with his family and his best friend was there,” she said in the post. “We had dinner and started talking about the wedding that will take place next month.
“My fiancé said something about the tight budget and his friend said ‘not so sure about this whole wedding because you might end up paying for sex later despite legal rights on this one’.”
“I was blown away. Really blown away [with] what he said. I really wanted to let it go, but since my in-laws were laughing, I blasted him and called him an idiot,” the poster said.
“He said to me, ‘Relax, that was a joke, didn’t you understand? Well, that’s your problem then.’ My fiancé tried to calm me down after I got up, but I was even more pissed off and publicly told his friend he wasn’t invited to the wedding, then packed my things and went home.”
Burke agreed that the bride-to-be had every right to be angry and also questioned her fiancé’s response.
“It actually seems like this future husband doesn’t really have his bride’s best interests at heart and is more interested in keeping his friends happy, which is kind of sad to hear,” Burke said. “If anyone should be part of your team throughout your wedding planning and on your wedding day, it’s your partner.
“It really seems like this couple needs to have an honest conversation with each other about the problems this friend is causing and how his behavior is affecting the bride. The groom also needs to have a word with his friend and smother this horrible behavior in the bud.
“He must defend his partner and explain how his friend’s words hurt her and that as a partner he will now allow this disrespect. Only then will the best man be allowed to attend the wedding.”
Since being shared on Saturday, October 22, the post has managed to attract over 9,700 upvotes and some 662 comments.
Many who commented on the post praised the bride-to-be while some also wondered if she should get married.
One Reddit user, whose comment was upvoted over 18,900 times, said: “NTA (not the a**hole) and you need to seriously think about it if you want to marry someone who thinks your feelings are less important than his friend’s obnoxious jokes’ and also that he considers such a person his best friend.
“Then when you tell him you’re upset, he accuses you of being controlling because you’re upset. That’s not healthy behavior and it doesn’t bode well for a marriage.”
Another posted: “For real? What’s wrong with people? I’d rather die alone after 60 without talking to another human than be in OP’s relationship (original poster) for a week. Why do women choose these absolute losers?”
A third commented: “It’s not ‘jokes’ OP it’s passive-aggressive swiping at you and your fiancé ends up with his friend putting you down and that’s not OK. Is he really okay with your past? Because someone who would never tolerate someone poking you.”
Newsweek has contacted Throwra31133434 for comment.
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