“Well, that’s going to be a nice change of pace for the briefers to give a list of national security threats to a president who’s not on it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Joe Biden’s receiving President Trump’s daily intelligence briefs
“It’s OK, Trump doesn’t need the daily brief anymore. He gets all his intelligence from Randy Quaid’s tweets.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Thanks to Trump’s daily brief, Biden will now be well versed in foreign and domestic threats and who got eliminated on ‘The Bachelorette.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Actually, it does turn out that the brief they give Biden is a little different than the one they give Trump. I’ll show you what I mean. For instance, Biden’s brief says, ‘Iran building nuclear arsenal,’ while Trump’s brief says, ‘Iran make big fireworks that go boom-boom.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Next up, Biden’s brief says, ‘Norway experiencing harsh climate change,’ while Trump’s says, ‘Soon Olaf will be a puddle.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“And finally, Biden’s brief says, ‘Canada extends border restrictions with U.S.,’ while Trump’s says, ‘Americans betrayed by Beliebers.’” — JIMMY FALLON
Amy Adams told Seth Meyers about trying (and failing) to learn a Billie Eilish song on the ukulele during quarantine.