Trump and Steven Seagal raise funds for Russia’s war effort in parody

This week’s Saturday Night Live cold open imagined a telethon to raise money for Russia at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club.

The “Ukrainian Invasion Celebration Show,” hosted by Fox News’ Tucker Carlson (Alex Moffat) and Laura Ingraham (Kate McKinnon), aimed to raise donations for Russian oligarchs in danger of not being able to pay for their “babies in sugar” in the face of US economic sanctions following the invasion of Ukraine.

“Who’s gonna pour vodka in their mouth?” Ingraham asked of McKinnon.

Trump, played by James Austin Johnson, was working on the phones, but his sales pitch turned into a rant about Rihanna’s body, the aquatic whales that supported his presidency, and “Bel-Air,” the new reboot of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.”

Bowen Yang portrayed a kimono-wearing Steven Segal who performed a lackluster taekwondo routine to honor his “friend”, Vladimir Putin.

Donald Trump Jr. (Mikey Day) and Kimberly Guilfoyle (Cecily Strong) then took the stage to perform a pro-war version of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s song “Shallow.”

“Is there a bathroom with a mirrored counter nearby?” asked one visibly coked day.

“Of course it is, it’s Mar-a-Lago,” Moffat’s Carlson replied.

Bowen Yang appears as “Steven Seagal” alongside Laura Ingraham (Kate McKinnon) and Tucker Carlson (Alex Moffat) on the cold open of “SNL” on March 5, 2022.
SNL / Youtube

The fictional ex-president then grabbed the mic to serenade Putin with an offbeat rendition of Frank Sinatra’s “My Funny Valentine” to wrap up the skit.

Host Oscar Isaac, who stars in the new Marvel series “Moon Knight,” showed a clip from a movie he made when he was 10 called “The Avenger.”

Young Isaac played a ninja who broke wooden planks and had a sword fight with himself in his friend’s garden while his father cleaned the pool.

“Probably better than ‘The Avengers,’ and I did it for half the budget, only $110 million,” he cracked.

“It’s important for kids to encourage kids to be weirdos because once in a while one of those weirdos grows up to host SNL,” he said to applause.

"SNL" Actor James Austin Johnson reprized his role as former President Donald Trump.
“SNL” cast member James Austin Johnson reprized his role as former President Donald Trump.
SNL / Youtube

After his monologue, Isaac portrayed a city councilman who urged voters to vote against a mayor who replaced the police department with his “Paw Patrol” force of six animated canine officers.

Chloe Fineman laughed a lot when she realized she could manipulate people into buying things from her if she spoke in a nondescript European accent like the SoHo con man – whose elaborate downsides were recently dramatized on the show Netflix’s “Inventing Anna”.

In a new episode of “Inventing Chloe“Fineman donned Celine glasses and Anna Sorokin’s designer outfits, and emboldened herself to direct and disparage her co-workers.

“This food is like basic, you know? French fries are like a broken ass. We need something more exclusive, like Nobu. Run it on my card,” she asked, throwing down her subway card.

After informing Michael Che that she would now be the new host of “Weekend Update”, she told Isaac that his denim outfit made him look poor.

” What are you wearing ? You look purr“, she mumbled to the guest host.

Isaac and Strong posed as human resources representatives giving an offbeat sexual harassment seminar at a pharmaceutical company.

“We’re where you go when you have anonymous complaints, like when Debra told us what Kevin was doing,” Strong said.

Musical guest Charli XCX and host actor Oscar Isaac stand alongside "SNL" actor Aidy Bryant.
Musical guest Charli XCX and host actor Oscar Isaac stand alongside “SNL” actor Aidy Bryant.
Rosalind O’Connor/NBC

The speakers then explained to the confused office workers why he has been acceptable for them to comment on each other’s body and toss the “n-word”.

A third date between Chris Redd and Melissa Villaseñor quickly went cold when Redd discovered that Villaseñor had a bunch of tumor-like singing meatballs on his skin.

The growths – played by Isaac, Bowen, Kenan Thompson, Kyle Mooney, Aidy Bryant and musical guest Charli XCX – then went into harmony when Redd broke off the relationship.

“Update” once again turned to the war in Ukraine as a joke at the expense of the Russian dictator.

“It’s amazing how much suffering could have been avoided if Putin (5’6″) was only a few centimeters taller,” Che joked.

Co-presenter Colin Jost has given his take on Senator Lindsey Graham’s call on Kremlin insiders to assassinate the Russian leader.

“This is a shocking and disgusting example of Lindsey Graham being right about something,” he said of the Republican.

McKinnon, who is openly gay, came on the segment to praise Florida’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ law, explaining that she didn’t like kids using the term as a slur at her college. .

“If the 90s was right and gay means wrong, then this is the most gay law I’ve ever seen,” she said after learning the true intent of the law.

Trying to break out of her usual matronly roles, Bryant portrayed a 1930s Hollywood starlet tired of seducing Isaac in an art deco penthouse, to comic effect.

She explained to the public that she only likes to play romantic roles with idols and rappers.

“Every time I do something sexual on the show it’s totally random, like with Ryan Gosling or Drake,” she said, showing goofy clips of her past conquests.

Thompson hosted a “Home Improvement” type show where he “talks to people who have gotten a little too confident to do work around the house”, and gets harassed by his wife, played by Ego Nwodim.

“I wish I hadn’t punctured my septic tank,” Mooney said of her efforts to install a pool with a shovel and a hose.

In the final skit, Isaac played a school janitor who recited passages from his 800-page novel about a romance with Dua Lipa, to the excitement of the students and the dismay of Bryant, who was back in a more typically chaste role as simple. teacher.

British pop star Charli XCX performed her songs “Beg For You” and “Baby”.

Pete Davidson was conspicuously absent from the show for the second week in a row as he continued to shoot a movie and mock threats from his girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband Kanye West.

The NBC show will be live again next week, hosted by “The Batman” actress Zoë Kravitz and featuring music from Spanish sensation Rosalía.

New York Post

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