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Trevor Noah thanks anti-vaccines on behalf of other countries


“I have an idea for that. You know, I think when somebody in another country gets one of our doses, you have to tell them who owns the vaccine. Like, ‘Oh, that Johnson & Johnson was supposed to go to a retired teacher in Florida, but she read on Facebook that it was made out of demon sperm, so now it’s yours.’ – JIMMY KIMMEL

“OK, Biden just proved he’s Irish. He’s on vacation, he’s feeling good and he’s buying shots for everyone. – STEPHEN COLBERT

“People are also traveling again. For example, a senior tourist visits the sights of Europe. I’m talking of course about Joe Biden. He was in the UK today, meeting the UK Prime Minister and a real boy who wished he was a scarecrow Boris Johnson. – STEPHEN COLBERT

“It could have been awkward, given that in the election Biden called Johnson a ‘physical and emotional clone’ of our last president. OK, that’s not fair – he’s really more of a vestigial twin. – STEPHEN COLBERT

“Yeah, at first Biden didn’t even recognize Johnson. He thought he was a hangover Weasley brother. – JIMMY FALLON

“But the leaders passed it and announced what is billed as a renewal of the Atlantic Charter. Ah, they renew their vows: “It’s going to be a little ceremony on the beaches of Normandy, only our closest allies; please RSVP soon, and let us know if you want chicken, fish, or the lingering ravages of colonialism. ‘” – STEPHEN COLBERT

“The Atlantic Charter sounds like a fish that I would pretend to have heard of. You know what I mean? In a chic restaurant: “What’s the catch of the day?” Oh, I love Atlantic Charter. – JAMES CORDEN

“And both sides got concessions, didn’t they? The UK agreed to limit the number of Royal Refugees it would send to the US, and in return the US agreed to start rephrasing the letter “u” again. In addition, the UK will produce more Harry Styles, and the US will begin to call football ‘football’ and football ‘brain time’. Everybody wins. – TREVOR NOAH

Stephen Colbert shared a special message of thanks with his staff, family and viewers ahead of his return to the Ed Sullivan Theater next Monday.



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