A teenager has posted on Reddit asking if he was “the asshole” for inheriting his mother’s house after she died in December and asking his stepfather and children to move out. In the post, 19-year-old user Living-Cheesecake-995 describes how his parents divorced when he was 6, after which his mother had a boyfriend called Josh, and they started living together when he was 9. year. He goes on to explain that growing up, due to tensions with his in-laws and feelings of being kicked out of his mother’s new nuclear family, he rarely spent time at his mother’s house. “Because she and Josh never got married for some reason, I inherited everything, including her house. I allowed Josh and the kids to still live there. I paid half bills because he struggles [sic] because of a low-paying job.”
The teenager explains how he decided to move into the house as the lease on his house is coming to an end soon, explaining to his stepfather that he will take the master bedroom and they can move into the other room . “He started crying about the fact that the bedroom is his safe space and that all of my mum’s stuff is there which gives him peace. I told him he could move some of his stuff into my old room (my room is 1/3 of the room). He started crying even more that he doesn’t want to give up their room.” Describing himself as “pissed off”, he told them to leave, after receiving a message that the family had moved on and were staying at a homeless shelter. “I have received messages from my mother’s side of the family that I am heartless and cruel to evict them. How the twins lost their mother and their home in less than a year.”
Talk to Newsweek, therapist, author and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy, Marisa Peer argues that the key thing to note here is that three of the protagonists in this situation are still children. “At 19, when considered an adult in the United States,” she explains, “it is recognized that a person does not fully mature, either mentally or emotionally, until the age of 25. years and older. As for the twins, they are 14 and just in their teens, which is a tough time without dealing with the added trauma of losing their mother.” She explains that it’s also important to remember that everyone deals with grief in their own way, and “until we’re faced with the death of a loved one, we can’t anticipate how we’re going to react.”
Death can bring fractured families together, says Peer, “as they share their grief for a loved one or arrange the practicalities of a funeral. However, heightened emotions can also reveal unhealed fissures, jealousy and resentment bringing out the worst in people.”
The teenager describes how he is criticized for his actions by his extended family: “The twins texted me saying they couldn’t believe their own brother had made them homeless and asked me what they had done wrong. My dad and his family told me that I had done nothing wrong. I feel bad for them, but I still think I get to decide who gets which room in my house. AITA?” In an update, the Reddit user announced that he would call his father-in-law and ask to meet in an effort to reach an agreement.
The peer accepts and says Newsweek that the son and the stepfather must meet, “possibly with a mediator”. and have an open and honest conversation. “The father must put the welfare of his daughters before his reluctance to change rooms and be happy that his family can stay in their family home. Taking them to a shelter is very irrational and certainly does not place their needs for disruption minimum above his own.”
User SamiHami24 commented, “OP didn’t even plan to evict them initially. All the man had to do was move to another room. But return his teenagers, who recently lost their mother figure , homeless was the option he chose.”
User mydeadmon said: “It’s also important to note that if OP’s mom wanted Josh to get the house, she could have left it to him. Wills exist for a reason.”
User tekflower wrote, “Josh is a manipulator, and from what is described, possibly unstable. That’s why he went to the homeless shelter when he didn’t have to. He wanted to make the OP look like a heartless freak so he could feel guilty about giving him whatever he wanted.”
Newsweek contacted u/Living-Cheesecake-995 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
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