Shock as bride finds out fiancé is still married months before wedding

A bride-to-be has shared her horror at the thought of calling off her wedding, after realizing her fiancé is still legally married.

The woman shared her dilemma with Mumsnet under the username Wouldyoubabys as she claimed she hadn’t been able to stop crying since the discovery, adding that she stood to lose £30,000 ($39,127) when the nuptials were booked for July.

After booking the big day in January, it appears his children told their mother, the alleged ex-wife, who pointed out that they never divorced after splitting 12 years ago.

He immediately started divorce proceedings, but the bride-to-be explained: “It now seems increasingly likely that it won’t be completed for our wedding in July. We have to give notice to get married in June.

“I pestered him to call the company he uses to run everything last week and finally did yesterday – he tells them I’m on his case about it and then as it becomes apparent on the phone that we are unlikely to be able to get married in July, says he is about to lose £30,000.

Submit a wedding photo and invite. A bride-to-be is horrified after finding out her fiancé is still married, months before the wedding.
Vera Fedorova/ASphotowed/Getty Images

“I’m disgusted – our invitations went out this week, his comment about me being on his case (why can’t he be eager to sort it out himself!) about not being mentioned how badly he wants to marry me – just that he’s going to lose £30,000.”

She was furious: “He didn’t come to bed last night, and this morning I couldn’t help but cry, which upsets him.

To make matters worse, his daughter and her supposed ex came to the house, as Willyoubabys fumed, “His fucking wife is sitting downstairs ffs.”

The post, shared on Tuesday, garnered over 450 responses and can be read here, as the hopeful bride-to-be shared more details in the comments.

She assured: “I don’t think he would have committed bigamy, I don’t even know what he was thinking.”

Bigamy is defined as “officially entering a marriage while the previous one is not dissolved,” according to the Legal Match website.

You know we’re still married and never divorced, right.

The site added: “The United States Supreme Court ruled that polygamy, or the practice of having more than one spouse at a time, was illegal in 1878. Bigamy is a criminal offense in all 50 United States. U.S. Bigamy laws by state will vary depending on whether it is a felony or a misdemeanor.”

However, in 2020, Utah passed a bill making polygamy an offense, downgrading it from a third-degree felony, according to CNN.

For the woman, things went from bad to worse in the relationship, as she confessed: “Things really got out of hand with me and dp and he went out (I’m thinking of taking the kids McDonald’s) I sent him a He texted me to say I hate him right now. He texted me to say I should pack up and leave.”

As they tried to sort out all their bookings, she continued, “The wedding venue said this morning we could have a celebrant instead and no one would know, but I feel embarrassed and misled.”

And she explained why she was so upset, saying: “I’m so angry and hurt – not about being married as I can strangely see how that has fallen by the wayside – but about how he has managed my feelings about it He’s not contacted me, he’s angry, he’s not upset about not getting married – he mentioned the money and me being on his case. He says that’s just what he was saying to let them know how bad it was on the phone, but it hurts.”

She added: “I just can’t stop crying, which doesn’t help, I can’t think straight. I don’t want to tell anyone in real life because I’m so damn embarrassed.”

In further edits, she claimed he was trying to speed up the divorce process, with the full support of his soon-to-be ex-wife, as she revealed how they found out.

“I was there when he got the text from his (ex) wife saying ‘you know we’re still married and never divorced, right’,” he said. she writes.

She claimed she was still unsure whether to postpone the wedding or have an officiant, but it appears she and her future husband were still together.

The table below, provided by Statista, shows where polygamy is widely practiced.

Infographic: Where polygamy is most widely practiced |  Statistical You can find more infographics on Statista

She added: “I’m disgusted to be honest but I have to have a plan and then put this aside. Dp didn’t act out of malice. He was a pimple today but that reaction was rare and by frustration with himself.

“He’s not out of the woods, but I’m trying to get some perspective on this. My time to be upset that he’s still married was back in January, that’s an administrative delay that brought him back to the fore, but not an intentional act to hurt me.”

Many people expressed shock at the situation, as Girlmom21 wrote, “Haven’t you taken out wedding insurance? Other than that he’s a lazy, mean, insensitive asshole and I would call off the wedding and wouldn’t even consider rearranging until he grew up.”

Roundeartheratchriatmas thought, “I’m sorry but I don’t think he wants to marry you. He ‘forgot’ he was still married? Nonsense.”

Waterfordaston asked: “How could he forget he was still married???”

And MrsMoastyToasty asked, “Was he seriously going to risk jail time for bigamy?”


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