“Saturday Night Live” has joined Senator Ted Cruz’s national roast after his escape to Cancun in disastrously cold Texas weather.
The heat came via Britney Spears, played by Chloe Fineman, and her fictional TV show. “Basically I started this show, ‘Oops, you did it again’ so people can come and apologize for the things they’ve done wrong,” she said.
Cruz, played by Aidy Bryant, was featured so he could say he’s sorry for giving up on his condition as millions of people tried to survive without heat, electricity and water.
“Hola, everyone,” said Cruz taking his luggage and taking a cocktail. “I’m not tanned, I just cried red over my fellow Texans. And that’s why I drink in their honor.”
The senator described his situation as being “in a little hot water – which nobody in Texas told me.”
“I deeply regret my actions over the past two days,” said Cruz, “flying primarily with United.”
He concluded with an apology: “I’m sorry. I’m really bad in human matters.”
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (Pete Davidson), under investigation for allegedly undercounting deaths at Covid-19 nursing homes, has also appeared to be able to apologize.
“Some of the people who died in nursing homes were not counted as deaths in retirement homes,” he said, “they were counted as deaths in hospital”.
“I said I was sorry,” Cuomo said unconvincingly.
The satirical news segment “Weekend Update” continued to grill Cruz for his trip to Mexico.
“If you hate Ted Cruz, it’s been a pretty fun week,” said co-host Colin Jost. “If you love Ted Cruz, then you are Ted Cruz.”
Jost noted that the Republican senator initially said he traveled to Cancun because his daughters requested the trip.
“If you think it’s wrong to throw his daughters under the bus, Cruz would like you to know that this statement was his wife’s idea,” Jost said.
His compatriot Michael Che said: “Cruz would have returned from Mexico even earlier but it took him about 40 minutes to get out of a hammock.”
He noted that millions of Texans were suffering from lack of water because pipes froze during the historic cold snap.
“Boy, that sort of thing would never happen in New York,” said people who never lived in the projects, ”Che said.
Jost criticized President Joe Biden’s proposal to create a pathway to citizenship for 11 million people living in the United States without proper documentation.
With an image of Cruz returning to Texas as a backdrop, Jost said, “I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I mean, have you seen people coming from Mexico these days?”