My daughter cheated on her husband – my grandson is crushed

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “Maddie”, 34, just left what I thought was a big marriage. After just five years, she cheated on her husband, “Glenn.” Their 6 year old son is run over. I know there are two sides to every story, but our whole family loves Glenn. He is a hard worker, but calm and rather homebody.

I think miscommunication and lack of excitement were her issues with him. (She refuses to tell me about the situation, so I’m guessing based on what I know about the two of them.) It was their first marriage, but since high school, Maddie had a long string of boyfriends. Most of them seemed like nice guys (she had a few screw-ups), but when Maddie’s dad and I got to know them and grew attached to them, she dumped them.

I think Maddie is mad at me because I can’t adjust to her new boyfriend. When she started cheating on him, he was also married. (He’s now divorced.) He’s a little older than her, and I don’t think this relationship lasts. I’ve met him several times and been quite friendly, but haven’t friended him on social media. She posts pictures of them together, and I rarely like pictures because I don’t like them.

I hate what she did. It really hurts me. How do I overcome this and how do I deal with what I feel like pressure from him to accept this new guy? — ON GUARD IN GEORGIA

DEAR WAITING: Your first priority should be to create as stable an environment as possible for your grandchild. There may have been issues in Maddie and Glenn’s marriage that you weren’t aware of. Be cordial to the new man in your daughter’s life, and in the future, stop becoming emotionally invested in the men she dates as you have in the past. Based on your description of Maddie’s scheme, there may be more on the horizon.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 58 year old male. I have a 33 year old daughter and a 14 year old granddaughter. My relationship with my granddaughter is non-existent. My only relevance to her is in the role of benefactor. She promises to hang out, visit, call or write, but never follows up. On the other hand, she has no problem reaching out through a cash app or any other platform for cash.

Every year, in the months before Christmas, I start getting calls or text messages from her. Once the holidays are over, it’s business as usual. In the future, I plan to ignore his requests. Conversations with her and my daughter are not working. What do you suggest? — MORE THAN MONEY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MORE: Because the conversations with your daughter didn’t work out, have another one with your granddaughter. Keep in mind that at 14 she can be somewhat self-centered, but you need to tell her how much being ignored for long periods of time makes you feel. Explain that you are no longer ready to offer money to someone you do not interact with. Then see if she goes all the way.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.