DEAR ABBY: I have a moral and ethical dilemma. I nominated a colleague for a benefit through our company. The person received what I consider to be a good sum ($5,000) for replacement hearing aids.
Seven months have passed and this person “still has the check” and has not used the money for the intended purpose. They bought two “threshing” cars and took a trip to New York. I feel like I was duped. Should I call the hotline and inform the foundation of my suspicions, or let it go? I feel like this person got away with what I feel like dirty deeds. What to do? — REGRET IT IN THE WEST
DEAR REGRETTER: “What to do” is to contact the foundation that sent the generous check, explain your concerns, and leave the ball in its court. They may, indeed, wish to follow up – and possibly inform the police – if there has been fraud.
DEAR ABBY: I’m stuck in a rut here. My girlfriend is anxious and depressed. I love her very much and I want to help her. I understand that someone with anxiety and depression can be a handful, but sometimes I feel like I’m overdoing it. My girlfriend is in such a state that no matter how hard I try, she doesn’t seem to want my help at all. How can I handle this? I feel like I’m going crazy. — NEED ADVICE IN THE EAST
DEAR GUIDANCE: I’m sure you love your girlfriend very much, but it’s important to realize that depression and anxiety are medical conditions. You cannot “fix” them. The most helpful thing you could do for your girlfriend would be to convince her to discuss what’s going on with her doctor so she can be referred to a licensed mental health care provider. Medication is available that might help, as well as talk therapy, which she may also need.
DEAR ABBY: I have been a dental assistant for over 20 years and would like to share an observation with your readers. Over the years we have seen many patients take care of their oral hygiene diligently. Then, suddenly, we notice a cavity both clinically and on x-rays – after years without cavities. We ask them, “Are you taking any new medicine that causes dry mouth? Have you started drinking another drink? Did you eat more sweets? More often than not, they tell us that nothing has changed.
The problem is often sugar where they don’t expect it – in fiber supplements, meal replacement shakes, gummy vitamins, chewable antacids, vitamin water, etc. Many of these items contain a surprising amount of sugar. Please encourage your readers to read the nutrition labels of their supplements. It might save their teeth. — ANTI-DECAY IN DALLAS
DEAR ANTI-CAVITY: Thank you so much for educating my readers and me. This is something I had never considered, and I bet a lot of them didn’t either. Your letter is important and I hope they will take it into account as I wish.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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