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Joe Biden, once again bringing back America’s most despised COVID mandates: face coverings.
They are extending federal mask mandates on planes, trains and other public transportation for another 15 days. Add that to 14 days to flatten the curve. We are talking about nearly 30 days of inconvenience.
So you have to wear them on your next flight between sips of water, vodka, tequila or, in my case, child tears. Without her, I’ll get rid of this beautiful body like a snake.
And if you don’t put on the mask, you’ll probably be scolded by someone with a crushing axe. Now, of course, it depends on the crew you have. Some are really great, some aren’t.
BIDEN’S COVID RESPONSE HEAD SAYS CONTINUED PUBLIC TRANSPORT MASK MANDATE ‘ABSOLUTELY ON THE TABLE’
Like the attendant who wakes you up from harmless sleep because your diaper slipped a millimeter like it was an oxygen mask and they save your life.
In the meantime, they didn’t even notice that I had taken off my boxers and stuffed them with crushed ice and peach schnapps.
Yes, of course, this mask mandate is not supported by science. I can’t find any research saying today is more COVID-y than 15 days from now. If anyone can show me this, I’ll send you pictures of Tyrus that I took while he was sleeping.
But does the virus have to give two weeks’ notice before stopping? Plus, research shows airplanes look the safest with HEPA filters and efficient circulation.
That’s why they can continue to serve lentils for lunch. You didn’t know that, did you?
Anyway, I read somewhere that if you lived your whole life on an airplane, you would live longer with reduced risk for all types of death.
Granted, you’re certainly less likely to be shot at, unless your plane is flying over Chicago. And yes, I made that stat up, but that’s what the experts do.
And even if this mandate is useless, the media thinks that it does not go far enough. I mean, why only 15 days?
MSNBC’S ANDREA MITCHELL: Why only 15 days?
DR. ANTONY FAUCI: Well, I think, Andge, because it’s a moving target and we really want to see what the trend is here in the United States.
He calls her “Andge”. Here’s a pattern Fauci didn’t notice: COVID is ending whether it likes it or not. He knows his 15 minutes are up, so he tries to stay relevant 15 days at a time.
And while everyone with a brain hates masks, the ladies of “The View,” who are exempt from the “having a brain” category — they’re on board.
SUNNY HOSTIN: When it comes to things like flying, the mask mandate is supposed to be lifted on April 18. I don’t want to get on a plane with super-spreaders. I don’t want to get on a plane with 214 other people who are going to breathe on me with their COVID breath. I do not want it. I want the masks.
So wear 20 masks and stay home, you creep. That’s advice I’d give “The View” even if there were no pandemic — no wonder Whoopi took off.
“The View” is more dangerous than any jumbo jet. On the one hand, it is noisier and pollutes a lot more.
And if you think Sunny is boring on TV, imagine sitting next to her on a long flight. Even al-Qaeda would say, “Get me off this plane.
It’s a Ah—. She said she didn’t want people breathing on her with their COVID breath. People breathing on her? What, she slow dances with people in coaching?
Do you think this is really about COVID? It’s too hateful, too angry, and it reveals their need for polarization: us against them. That’s the thing among the rights holders and the elite.
When you run out of racing angles, talk about the disease, talk about the spreaders of COVID – those people with their COVID breath, they’re so rude, I bet they’re poor.
These unwashed masses who travel by coach and must bring their own snacks on board, usually beef jerky.
Meanwhile, mask-wearers serve appetizers like maskless bigwigs in premiere [class] drool them.
But it’s all about blaming others, which gives Hostin a nice dopamine hit — the focus on drugs and meanness.
Of course, our politicians exploit the average person’s instinct to be decent. They know we’re not gonna make a fuss, so you hang in there and take the punishment like a good sadomasochist bent over the 18C seat waiting to be paddled with a double mask on, wearing both an N-95 and a ball gag.
What if they extend it again and they never stop? At some point the pilots have to make a decision: you keep making it or you share the risk if you talk.
They cannot launch four lanes at once. Well, they probably can. So I don’t recommend it.
But at some point, the public must decide when the country has had enough. Kind of like how democracy was supposed to work. Maybe the next two weeks, don’t fly at all. Let them know.
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“Wait, but Greg, I have business in Albuquerque next week.” Well guess what? Now you have an ear infection and you can’t fly under Dr. Gutfeld’s orders. Yeah, I bet you didn’t know I went to medical school. It’s because I didn’t.
But if that doesn’t stop Dr. Jill, why would it stop me?
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening commentary on the April 14, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”