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Greg Gutfeld: The media don’t know when to stop


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Whenever a huge, ugly story unfolds, the media has to do its job. And like Brian Stelter at a pie contest, they never seem to know when to stop.

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It’s natural after a tragedy, I guess, to report and report. It is necessary. But what if there isn’t enough news to do more reporting? Well, then you repeat it and repeat it again. It’s like that kiddie car commercial that makes me want to burst my eardrums. I know. They’re really talented, though.

But these are anything but facts. You call talking heads and experts for emotional angles and testimonials. They’re the new burger aid, if you will, adding bulk to the main course.

And when the reports run out, which is fast, the speculation begins. And as I call my pharmacist, it’s relentless. It will not stop. Everyone is trying to outdo themselves and outsmart you. Are you more emotionally affected than me? The news becomes as productive as an argument with a cleaning lady.

Speculation is then punctuated with drops and drops of new information, which hours later turns out to be false. There was an officer facing a shooter. No, there wasn’t. The shooter committed suicide. No, he didn’t. The press said if your mom tells you she loves you, you should check it out first. Now that’s, hey, guess until you’re right.

Meanwhile, everyone turns into little Columbos. Experts in speculation, but nothing else. But at least Columbo succeeded in the end. But now it is, was there a delay in the police action? And if so, why ? Should they have entered directly? Or wait for others? Did they screw up?

You know, it’s like we can make those decisions easily. So we are experts in tactics and we tell ourselves what we would have done. I know what I would have done. Hide behind Tyrus. Then I would offer Geraldo as a trade.

Just kidding Geraldo, Oh stop it. Stop that. He is a charming man.

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We play Monday morning quarterback Monday through Friday and then some. I find it hypocritical that the media criticize the reaction time while ours is always off. It’s just in the opposite direction.

Just like when we watch videos of cops interacting with unarmed suspects. Suddenly we became experts in policing, as if we had gone to school for it. But actually, the closest thing to studying the police is watching a documentary about Sting.

The thing is, many of us got journalism degrees to avoid doing math, but we can’t help it. It is the nature of the beast. When I was a kid, we had 30 to 60 minutes of news every day. Hell, that included sports, weather, and 10 minutes of birthday shoutouts to people who went to high school with God.

But now it’s 24/7. We have gone from a small bucket of news to an Olympic size pool that needs to be filled every day. It’s like Tyrus’ bathtub, where his rubber ducky is a real tug.

But just because I’m reporting it doesn’t mean that’s going to change. I mean, I’m a powerful cog in this machine called the media, but I don’t have that kind of influence. I can barely get Kat to take a bath.

We should at least recognize our role in this regard. Right now, we just show up at the end of a crime. But that crime is off after a long, ugly road with clues that make us wonder why we didn’t see it coming. It’s like terrorism.

You see how you could have prevented it after it had already happened. The problem is that the bad guys also watch the TV news.

So next time they will do it differently. And we still have to learn another lesson on how to prevent this specific crime.

But you see, learning on the job is one thing if you’re stocking shelves at Wal-Mart. But when it comes to policing, learning from mistakes usually means learning from horrible human tragedy. Perhaps the death of one of their own.

So maybe we so-called media experts should slow down our reaction time on a subject we really know nothing about and learn to do our job properly before worrying about how others are doing theirs.

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Sure, univariate thinkers will shout “guns” at an atrocity like this, but we can handle more than one thought.

There is mental instability, family disarray, bullying, a disturbing presence on social networks. The ingredients of these tragedies are as consistent as those of a Big Mac.

Yes, there are variables we should catch early. One of them, however, is us, the media. We never take the pressure off these things, even though we know they trigger copycats who see attention as a chance for infamy and immortality.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t report these stories. Reporting is one thing, but acting as a publicist for the killer is another.

The media almost turns the story into a late-night infomercial, telling mentally unstable young men who might watch this, you too might be a household name. You too can step out in a blaze of glory and go down in history. You too could be the next unnamed creep.

This is the reason why someone chooses suicide more than just suicide. Suicide Plus has a payout provided by, you know who? We.

So while we criticize the cops and say they should have done better and hope they learn from it, we should also say this about the press. Too bad we don’t listen.


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William

Friendly bacon buff. Unapologetic problem solver. Avid food lover. Amateur alcoholaholic. Organizer. Student
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