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All right, on to the monologue. And yes, it’s that day of the week too.
VIDEO: Come together in one place for cable TV’s biggest segment: Trans Tuesday. Well, wait a minute. It’s not Tuesday, I’m Saturday.
Yes, it’s Trans Tuesday, where each topic has a little extra something up its sleeve. But first fencing. In a sport where two people hit each other with long objects, one might assume that biological males have a competitive advantage. At least that’s what I observed in the FOX News men’s room.
Talk about sword fights. I’m undefeated mainly because Lou Dobbs retired. Today, an anonymous fencing competitor is speaking out against trans fencer Eden Philpot, calling the inclusion of biological males in the sport “unfair, ill-considered and short-sighted,” which is pretty much the same thing we all said when Fox hired Jesse Waters.
“OPEN CATEGORY” FOR TRANSGENDER SWIMMERS READY TO START AT THE WORLD CUP IN GERMANY
Eden, formerly Evan Philpot, began competing against women last year. Philpot received medals in foil and sabre, a rare feat in fencing, and he also won first place in the wang category. So it seems that Philpot’s return to glory was as clear as his Adam’s apple. When you’re not good enough to compete with guys, go for the girls. And everyone is supposed to applaud your courage, right? How progressive. The female athlete who wishes to remain anonymous so all the assholes in the world don’t shout threats at her in public, however, says this: “What I see happening right now is a complete disregard for the integrity of the sport female. age.” But as we know, this kind of thing happens everywhere. See it in swimming, volleyball, and in Illinois, two trans cyclists recently crushed the women’s competition, winning gold medals in two elite women’s races in just four days. But to prove that they were just as feminine, trans women’s bikes were equipped with baskets with small plastic flowers.
But hey girls, it’s not that bad. They may beat you on the bike, but you’ll get your revenge when those bike seats lower those women’s sperm counts. And in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, a school voted to rehire a transgender tennis coach who was caught changing in the girls’ locker room and talking to students about their underwear preferences. clothing and their menstruation. A transgender tennis coach. Finally, someone who is Billie Jean and a king.
However, playing doubles usually doesn’t mean adjusting your testicles. But you can see how the left’s obsession with integrating gender ideology into everything has caused a lot of people to completely beat themselves up in record time. When you openly reject basic human biology, all the old rules are thrown out like a bag of West Wing cocaine. This is despite a recent Gallup poll showing that nearly 70 percent of Americans don’t think men should be allowed to compete with women in sports. Well, unless it’s to make the WNBA watchable.
LIBRARIAN STOPS EVENT AFTER SPEAKER REFERENCES TRANSGENDER ATHLETES PLAYING IN WOMEN’S SPORTS LIKE MALE
I know, but, you know, who’s really upset about all this? Keith Olbermann. But give him a little breathing room. These days, getting angry is the only work he gets. Keith always had a problem with women. He even described one woman who had pissed him off as “a big bag of mashed meat with lipstick on it.” We heard that his grandmother never forgave him. But those are strong words coming from a man who is a huge asshole. So this problem suits him perfectly. He can insult and lie about women, and his dwindling fan base of mental patients will cheer him on for his inclusiveness. Like when he said this to Riley Gaines: “Can you just face reality and move past it? You’re terrible at swimming.” I know. And he adds: “That’s why you lost.” Wow. I wonder what women did to him that made him hate ladies so much. But maybe that’s what they didn’t do. It looks like one of Richard Branson’s planes and he has “Virgin” written all over it. THANKS. THANKS. Alright. Alright. His statement was obviously a lie. So Riley put him in a body bag. Metaphorically.
VIDEO OF RILEY GAINES RESPONDING TO KEITH OLBERMANN
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WOW. Usually Keith has to pay a chick for a beating like that. Maybe Riley should challenge Keith to a women’s swimming competition. He’s already screwed. I’m imagining Keith in a pool and now I want to spray an entire can of Lysol in my brain. Imagine a hemorrhoid with a bad hairpiece. It’s Keith. But it’s just a symptom. In 2023, male chauvinism has been repackaged as inclusiveness. Harassing women is now diversity. Destroying the dreams of young female athletes is a matter of fairness.
This is how you behave when your entire philosophy is based on a crazy lie. Just ask the folks at Anheuser-Busch who champion female facial art. Dylan Mulvaney, the worst alcohol spokesperson since Ted Kennedy. But hey, that’s what you get when you reject the birds and the bees. Everyone gets dicked except the one with a dick.
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