Dad Who Won’t Move Trans Teen’s Gender Reveal Party For Rented Baby Shower

The single dad of a trans teenager is being praised for standing up to his sister for refusing to change the date of his son’s ‘gender reveal’ party, even though it’s days before his fifth baby shower.

The original (OP) poster, u/Dadofaforeverboy, shared his story on the r/AmITheA** hole Reddit forum, earning 5,700 upvotes and 1,100 comments for his post, “AITA for hosting a reveal party of like for my son instead in the same week as my sister’s baby shower?”

He says his son, 19, came out as transgender three years ago and has just completed his transition. He told his dad that since he came out he wanted to throw a gender reveal party. Now that he’s “officially male,” they throw the party, inviting the whole family, even though they know some members won’t show up because they don’t approve of his transition.

However, the OP’s sister is pregnant with her fifth child and plans to have a baby shower and reveal her gender. Although u/Dadofaforeverboy knew that her sister’s baby was due at the end of the month, she hadn’t named a date when her son’s birthday was due.

Even though OP and his son sent out invitations two months ago – and OP’s sister even said she would try, she recently called OP, livid. She told OP that since so many family members are coming to her son’s party, it will be the first major family event since COVID — and it would make her shower an “afterthought.”

OP declined to change the date, saying the family would show up to both as his son’s birthday was on a Thursday while his was at the weekend.

“She said I was pretending to reveal my gender and I told her it was [ridiculous]. She said it wouldn’t even be a real gender reveal because he wasn’t a baby, so I just said she could come or not, her choice, but I’m not moving the date.” , wrote u/Dadofaforeverboy.

A father is backed for refusing to change the date of his transgender teenager’s gender reveal party to accommodate his sister’s fifth baby shower.

Although gender reveal parties are a relatively new phenomenon, they are controversial. Academic Carly Giesler, in her article “Gender-reveal parties: Performing community identity in pink and blue” published in the Journal of Gender Studiescites the late 2000s as the beginning of the trend, with the first YouTube video of such a party posted in 2008.

Some of the reviews come from several high-profile gender reveal party disasters. In 2021, a gender reveal party featuring an exploding target caused a wildfire in Alberta, Canada. And it’s not the first to start a fire – a 2020 party caused the fire in El Dorado in California, burning thousands of acres of land. A party in 2017 burned 47,000 acres in Arizona with a makeshift explosive. And four people had died at gender reveal parties in the first three months of 2021.

However, even when explosives aren’t involved, gender reveal parties have been criticized for leaning into gender stereotypes like “Guns or Glitter” or “Wheels or Heels,” Giesler says. It also links gender to sex, which some people say is problematic because gender is a social construct and, according to critics, the baby is not yet able to tell if it is a boy or girl.

Jenna Karvunidis, the woman who posted that first gender reveal video on YouTube, also called out the gender reveal parties, sharing that the girl who was the subject of that first video is now gender nonconforming, but always uses his pronouns.

“PLOT TWIST, the world’s first baby to reveal her gender is a girl who wears costumes!” Karvunidis wrote in a Facebook post sharing her doubts about the fashion she is credited with starting.

Redditors backed u/Dadofaforeverboy for not changing the date.

“So she’s mad that her 5th baby shower isn’t the first big family celebration after covid? A 5th baby shower wouldn’t even be happening in my family. They already have everything, it’s just a gift that s ‘grab this dot,’ u/armchairshrink99 wrote in the top-rated comment with 11,000 upvotes. “[Not the A**hole]. your sister acts in right. »

“It made me laugh that she said OP’s sons weren’t a ‘good’ gender reveal. Seems like she puts too much emphasis on it, they’re made up, and you can so do what you want with it,” u/BritishHobo added.

“It’s, in fact, a real gender reveal party. The other kind is a ‘gender to be assigned at birth’ reveal party,” u/Trini1113 replied.

“[Not the A**hole] your son’s gender reveal party is almost more important than hers, because she technically has no idea what gender her child is going to identify with. He celebrates his true self which is beautiful. I came here expecting to see another “gender reveal” scandal, but it’s actually pretty cool. Plus, it’s not like you put it on the same day. Happy gender reveal day to your son when the time comes, your sister needs to relax,” u/stitchgalohana wrote.

“[Not the A**hole]. Gender reveal parties are stupid as hell and while I know you technically have a gender reveal, it feels more like a good time and a chance to support your son. Baby gender reveal parties are boring and most people don’t want to be there. After 5 kids, your sister needs to stop having baby showers. It’s corny as hell and you can tell him I said that,” u/JoBenSab wrote.

Newsweek has contacted r/Dadofaforeverboy for comment.


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