Britney Spears sheds more light on her life since her 13-year conservatorship ended.
The “princess of pop” told fans in a lengthy Instagram post on Monday that her “spirit is better” but that she “will forever be traumatized by my past experience.”
“There is no way to fix me, my emotions and my sensitivity,” Spears wrote with a close-up photo of a pink rose. “Therapy, all that!!! I think I will need some sort of miracle for my emotions.
She went on to reveal that she always cries herself to sleep and is plagued with insecurities.
“My life is by no means perfect…I cry myself to sleep most nights…I’m not safe as hell…I don’t know how to have good posture unless being in front of the camera… and I need to go to a school just to learn how to fucking walk… I know you say ‘but you’re an artist’… well that’s it!!! It’s a stage act… in real life I have no idea… and I’m working on it!!!”
In November, a Los Angeles judge ended the Grammy-winning singer’s controversial conservatorship that gave her father Jamie Spears control of her finances and many decisions about her personal life and health. In June, she married her longtime boyfriend, Sam Asghari.
“Well the truth is my spirits are better but I will forever be traumatized by my past experience for life,” Spears wrote in her post.
She revealed that she never “had seconds at the table” and is now learning to use the word “more”.
“I WANT MORE lately,” she wrote. “It’s called MORE and maybe MORE isn’t so bad…and opening up to MORE and the DOOR.”
Spears also explained why she shares photos and videos of herself “looking her best.”
“Everyone’s life seems so perfect and when I post things I think most of the time I’ve been completely and utterly embarrassed by my past…and who can forget those documentaries???” she wrote, referencing films like “Controlling Britney Spears” which explore her guardianship battle. “So yeah, I try to put myself in my best light or what that might seem like the good life.”
Fans of the “Gimme More” singer were quick to comment in the comments to show their support.
“I hope you heal by sending love and positivity,” wrote one commenter.
Another said: ‘We love you no matter what.
“We are all a work in progress,” another fan wrote with a heart emoji.
Spears is set to release a highly anticipated musical collaboration with Elton John on Friday, her first musical release since the end of his conservatorship.