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A not so long distance relationship is connected to a proposition

New Brunswick, NJ, is less than 50 miles from New York City, but for Dr Marianne Jacob and Andrew Shenoy, who were married on April 17 at the Basilica of Former St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Lower Manhattan, even this relatively small geographic gap was sometimes difficult to bear. From 2016 to 2019, the couple dated as they were separated by the Hudson River and three New Jersey counties.

“Some of my friends would laugh at me when I called it a ‘long distance relationship’ because I had friends who were dating people in California and stuff like that,” Mr. Shenoy, 30, said. partner at Heights Point Management. a New York-based equity fund. “But when you only see someone in person once every two or three weeks, it’s still a distance.”

Dr Jacob, 32, remembers that breaking up together at the end of the weekend could be taxing, even though she knew a meeting was never far away. “There were a few times when I was leaving on Sunday night where I would definitely get a little tearful and love to cry.”

It wasn’t the first time the couple had found themselves out of reach. When they first met in 2014, Dr Jacob was living with her parents in Roslyn Heights, New York, while she was doing a clinical internship at a Queens hospital during her third year at Lake Erie College. of Osteopathic Medicine.

But it was Dr. Jacob’s move to New Jersey, which she made for a pediatric residency at Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, that was particularly difficult. “It was quite difficult and I felt pretty lonely at the time,” said Dr Jacob. “These were the times when I really wished Andrew and I were in the same place.”

It wasn’t just that being apart had an emotional impact. It was also a bit tricky to figure out when to get engaged. Mr Shenoy, who graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with a bachelor’s degree in economics and another in applied science, said that within two years of his relationship, he acknowledged that their relationship was “getting pretty serious” and that they wanted to spend so much time together. as they could. Dr Jacob felt the same.

In 2016, she introduced Mr. Shenoy to her parents, which she says is a milestone in her Indian family: “It already makes things very serious.”

Despite their deep bond and commitment to each other, it took four years before the couple took the next step. Dr Jacob moved to New York for a Pediatric Endocrinology Fellowship at NewYork-Presbyterian / Weill Cornell Medical Center in 2019 and for a while they just enjoyed living together. “It was sort of the first step and the engagement made sense as the next logical step,” Mr. Shenoy said.

After a proposal at Prospect Park in Brooklyn in September 2020, Dr Jacob and Mr Shenoy decided to get married quickly. At this point, they felt they had been delayed long enough. “We didn’t want to wait a full year to just throw a party,” Dr Jacob said. The ceremony on April 17 was presided over by Reverend Jilson George, a Syro-Malabar Catholic priest, in front of 13 other guests.

Dr Jacob, who would have preferred a larger marriage under normal circumstances, said she knew they would have to limit their marriage to their immediate family when they decided not to wait for the pandemic to resolve. “It would either be less than 20 people or more than 200,” she said. “There was no like between the two.”

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